My name is Cristin Surls, a Georgia Peach who grew up in a south Atlanta town called East Point. I was assigned male at birth and later blossomed into the woman I would become today!
I had a very ordinary Christian upbringing and a great family life having been involved with church, school, Boy Scouts and later working at a variety of entry level jobs like being a grocery store clerk. My life as a boy was confusing though because I never excelled at sports or dating later in high school. I never got into sports and was more a computer nerd than football material. I didn’t have a male role model in my home growing up and don’t ask me to fix your car, we will both be sorry.
During my Teen years I tried to be more masculine and joined the Army. This was back in the 90s when “Don’t ask Don’t tell” was the rule so they didn’t ask and I didn’t tell them that I had always wanted to be a girl. I didn’t have words for that except gay which didn’t fit my journey. I mainly liked girls. I loved their clothes. I served in the Amry for several years and got married, along the way had two sons of my own and learned how to be a soldier, leader, teacher, spy, logistic analyst and a linguist.
I have lived all over the world including Korea and Germany becoming immersed in their cultures with a wide world view. After the Army, I became a retail manager working for several stores until finally going back to college at Liberty University to be a counselor and Pastor. Living all that time caused me to seek answers to why I felt like I was trapped inside a guy's body and ultimately led to my divorce and transition to the woman writing this article. It was a difficult journey and one with a lot of loss but also a lot of growth and discovery, it is with this in mind that I have written the article below:
12 Things I wish I would have Known Before Transitioning
1. When you first start your transition you are going to believe you know more about what to expect that you actually do— word of advice newbie “new egg” - you do not! Learn from watching and asking questions from other trans women and genetic women willing to help you! Also remember you are allowed to make mistakes! No little girl, it is not the end of the world. Watch the women around you, the way they act, move, and socialize and above all listen to advice your given about hair and makeup.
2. You are not baking a cake on your face girlfriend! While NYX makes a good concealer color pallet, you are not Picasso and your face isn’t green or purple. Each color serves a purpose to hide or blend blemishes and highlights on your face. This brand is sold at Walmart. You are not a Martian so don't do your whole face green just to hide a few beard hairs. Yes, I went there! Orange lipstick works well to conceal facial hair but not a forest do ya hear me “new egg”?
3. Women’s bathrooms are not designed for men - they are small, hold larger numbers and stalls are smaller. Ladies can we agree that men should not be allowed to design our personal spaces? They are too small, especially if your wearing a dress or a romper, holy cow don’t have a bad bathroom need cause you might get stuck in your outfit and that would be bad. I actually almost fell in the toilet trying to not ruin a dress. Can we make stalls bigger? Asking for all the women.
4. Getting ready to go out isn’t simple like being a man, it is an art form for ladies and should not be underestimated by newbies. “New Egg” - learn from the beginning that less is usually more with makeup and hair. You need foundation and you need eye shadow and some mascara to make those eyes pop and a nice finishing spray to keep your face from melting off in the Georgia heat because it isn’t peachy for a lady to look half baked and melty. Youtube is your friend for makeup tutorials. What used to take me an hour as a newbie now after five years takes me about 20 minutes for a decent look. Depending on the occasion or if I like the person it may take longer but usually doesn’t. (P.S. make sure they are going to show before you waste time and energy getting cute. Guys and Gals can be ghost. Just remember your cat always loves you!)
5. Be confident—Girl power, know your value. As a woman you hold the power to break hearts. I’m willing to die on this hill prove me wrong!
6. Play hard to get—Don’t be an easy target. Sometimes guys and gals like the thrill of the hunt! Enjoy being flirty, but don’t give away the cookie jar! You are not Woodsie the owl and we don’t act like a tootsie roll.
7. Don’t let yourself be mansplained and don’t do it to others it’s a dead give away.
8. Passing is for cars, don’t struggle with the stress of labels, do your best and you will get better. Personal hygiene is a must! You are not a guy, do not act like one. When it comes to passing, look at how women act and follow their lead - it will become habit. Also there is no right or wrong voice to being a woman, they have a vocal range just like the dudes do. Be yourself - confidence is key. Being clocked by genetic females happens less with time.
9. Do not get your panties in a wad if you get misgendered, it’s gonna happen new girl, just chalk it up as someone being ignorant and let it go. Sometimes it will be hard in which case you can bless their little hearts! Even after 5 years it still happens to me.
10. Shoe and boot sizes are different from men to women so when buying shoes you have to account on two sizes difference as average. As an example, I wear a size 12 men’s shoe but in international sizes for women I wear a 45 or 13-14 women’s shoe. Pro tip unless you have small feet it will be good for you to go into a store and try some women’s sizes on for comparison. I use shoe warehouse or Ellie shoes from Amazon.
11. Hormones— Little Girl, hormones will do the work of changing your appearance and giving you more feminine attributes and secondary sexual characteristics but it cannot change your bones or dna. Some things we as ladies have to mentally prepare for and changes happen, but they happen on their own time span. It does not happen overnight newbie. You will have to be patient, you will have to be a range of emotions, you will ride the emotional roller coaster just like every woman on earth. Your hormones might even trick your body into being on cycles minus the uterus issues. Girl the mood swings, just sayin. It comes with time.
12. Learn the phrase “Your mileage may vary “ meaning that no two transitions are the same. Just because little Susie has bigger boobies after 6 months of hormones doesn’t mean yours will be at the same pace or size. It takes some girls less time and some more. Most changes happen in the first two years but even after five years I’m still seeing changes and beautiful increases in all the right ways. Remember it’s not a race, it is a journey and an adventure. Don’t try to transition without the care of a physician - that is the most important thing to remember. You are unique and special never let anyone tell you different sweet lady!
Hugs,
Cristin
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